Once In a Lifetime
by Chris2035
Summary: Was all of this because of Seth Cohen? This couldn't be happening. I'd met the guy like five minutes ago. Was I falling in love? SS story AU Please read and review! COMPLETE!
1. Can't take my eyes off you

**Once in a lifetime**

_Okay guys... I put the sequel to "Kiss me Baby" on hold. Somehow I don't seem to come anywhere. Anyway this is my new story. "Once In A Lifetime". Did any of you see "The Bridges of Madison County"? I saw that movie for the first time, like a week ago, and fell in love in no time! So I thought, I'll turn it into a story about Seth and Summer. It's of course different from the movie. But the essence of the storyline is the same._

**Pre-Information:**

_The story is kind of AU. Basing on the idea that the Cohen-Family never moved to Newport. So of course Summer and Seth never met. _

_Summer grew up in Newport. After high school she went to UC Arizona. Where she met Zach. (No for some reason, they didn't meet in Newport! Don't scrutinize. This is my story!) They decided to get married after he had gotten her pregnant in their sophomore year. The story starts with Summer being 27 and the mother of a six year old daughter (Lilly) and a three year old son (Michael). (The story is written out of Summers POV)_

_Seth, 28 by now, who grew up in Berkeley (the Cohen's also adopted Ryan. You wanna know how they did that if they didn't live in Newport? Again: Don't scrutinize! lol) , is an very successful artist. (You'll get more info later in the story)_

_Okay... I think I gave you all the info you need for now. If there are still any questions just ask me via email!_

**Chapter 1: Can't take my eyes off you**

It was, what the, what the meteorologist would call the hottest summer California had seen in 50 years. The ice cubes were melding inside of the fridge. Our a-c-system was running 24/7. The kids were grouching 24/7 too. The heat seemed to make everybody crazy.

That's my explanation for it today. It's the heats fault, clearly.

The morning it all begun my husband Zach and I were standing in our kitchen. I was sipping my iced coffee. Zach was getting the kids ready for their annual trip to Washington. His parents lived there. His parents celebrated there 40th wedding anniversary. Of course, out of politeness they invited me too. Not that there was anything that would me make going. And Zach knew that. But since we had gotten up that morning he kept going on about why I didn't wanted to go along with him and the kids.

"You sure you don't wanna come to D.C. with us? My mother is really looking forward to see you."

"Oh please! She hates me! And I won't give her a chance to let her tell me what a bad mother I am or wife..." I poured myself some more coffee, threw a few ice cubes into my cub and looked at my husband again.

"You and the kids go. Visit your parents, let your mother spoil Michael and Lilly all she wants. I'll be alright."

To be honest: I would be more than alright. I haven't had a week for myself since Lilly was born. I would enjoy that week downright. There's just no way I would've changed that for a week with my mother in law.

As much as I love my family - they were exhausting sometimes. The kids were fighting most of the time and while I had to deal with them Zach was at his office. Preparing for the next election. But this week I would turn the tables. Usually he kept telling me how lovely our babies are and that they couldn't be as much stress as I claimed. I was pretty sure he would have changed his opinion after a week alone with them.

"You sure?", he checked again.

I nodded with a bright smile: "Positive! But if you don't leave soon you guys are gonna miss your plane."

With Michael up on his hip, a suitcase in the other hand and Lilly holding onto his sweater he kissed me on the lips: "I call you as soon as we get there!"

After saying goodbye to my little boy I bended down to my six-year-old daughter: "You make sure to be a good girl, alright?Do what your daddy says!"

I embraced her tightly: "Mommy misses you already!"

"I'll miss you too, Mommy", her short arms twined around my neck and I got a peck on the cheek. "Luv ya!"

I guided them outside where the cab were waiting already. After almost dying because of a wave of heat we tucked the kids in the car Zach turned to me again.

"Say hello to your mother for me!", I said with a forced smile. Not that that witch would care.

"I will!", he pulled me into a passionated kiss. "I love you!"

"Love you, too!", I replied while watching him getting into the car.

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When I got back into the car I thanked god again for the air conditioner we had in our house. Looking around I couldn't really decided what to do. The house was spick and span. That was when the lowest drawer of our living room cupboard came into my field of view. Almost reverent I keeled down and opened it for the first time in six years and brought out my sanctuary:

My DVD-collection of _The Valley_.

I hadn't had time to watch since Lilly was born. Every time I switched on the TV, one of the kids started crying or hurt itself in some way. I used to have this theory that the theme-song has some hidden lyrics in it, that freak the kids out. But Zach opined that they were just mad because my complete attention didn't apply to them then. So I didn't watch it for about five years but bought every single DVD that was released.

A few hours later I was completely sucked into the whole high school drama of April, Jake and the gang as my phone rang. My friend Holly. She asked me what the hell I was doing. I was supposed to pick up Marissa an hour ago and show up at the community center, we had a meeting with the other Newpsies today to plan Newport's latest charity event.

When I was young I never thought that I would become the typical Newport women one day. I wanted to make a great career in fashion. Maybe set up my own boutique. Now I was just another Newpsie, I lived of my husbands money, supported him with his political-career, took care of the kids and sold the appearance of the perfect family.

When I was arriving at Marissa's I found her drunken in her kitchen. Again. She also was a typical Newpsie, but in an other, far worse way.

Considering we were already far to late for the meeting I decided to pour her some coffee and sober her up again, before her kids would come home. She told me about the fight she had with her husband Luke. In my opinion he was pretty much of a asshole. Hired a new assistant every week who's skirts got shorter every time. On the other hand she was not so innocent either. But instead of assistants and secretary's she hired pool boys and gardeners.

She was in a bad condition, that day. All I could do is sit there and listen to her worries and problems as usual. I didn't even bother to tell her about mine. Zach called our friendship one-sided. Of course I knew he's right. But I knew her since preschool. It was hard to look away when she was that miserable.

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After six more hours in the house of tears and pain I was home again. Taylor Townsend, the queen of Newport charity events, had left a message. She wanted to know where me and "Mrs McDrinkison" were today. They had decided to do an art exhibition with following auction. The money would go to the children's hospital. She made it obvious that she wanted us there tomorrow, after all we were in the board of the charity table.

That woman was a pain in the ass. Even if there was no doubt that she was born for that job, she also would have also made a great career in the third Reich.

I decided to push aside all the negative thoughts and let the day die away with Frank Sinatra, a glass of wine and a long bubble bath.

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I was already in bed, zapping through the channels when the phones rang again. Zach.

"Everything alright home, Honey?"

I couldn't do other than smile. He was really protective. "Yeah. I just noticed how big and empty this house can be... how are the babies?"

"I just tucked them in. They were really tired. No wonder. The day were really exciting for them. You did realize we're raising little terrorist, right?"

"Oh so I guess they were on their best behavior during the flight, huh?"

"What a understatement! American Airways will never let us in again..."

"So it sounds like your having fun...", I really missed them.

"We do. We just wish you were here. We really miss you."

"I miss you, too. But it's only a week. I think we'll survive."

"I love you."

"I love you. Give Michael and Lilly a kiss from me."

"I will."

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When I arrived at Newport's community-center the next morning I found Peggy and Taylor in a heavy discussion. Peggy is the former head of the charity table and not so easy to push back even if she was over seventy already. I hadn't even taken a step into the room when Holly dragged me with her.

"It's about time you show up! Do you think rules don't apply for you just because your husband is a member of the congress?"

I answered by rolling my eyes while following her through all the flushed Newpsies. They seemed like a hen house with a fox in the middle of them.

"So anyway: Your job will be to raise our inventory of art objects."

I simply nodded. There was nothing I wanted to do less but I was not in the mood for an argument with her.

So Holly showed me the direction and disappeared again. Arrived in the storeroom I'm faced a good dozen of pseudo Jason Pollocks. Nothing spectacular. I wouldn't have bought any of those. I was almost ready to go on to the sculptures as I saw it. At the farthest end. This wasn't some usual abstract painting. There was something about it. I couldn't even explain what it is. At a first glance it looked like every other picture in here but it reminded me of something. I just didn't know what it was.

"You like it?"

I jerked. Turning around I was facing a guy my age with tender brown eyes and curly hair.

"Jesus Christ!", I snapped at him. "Do you always sneak around like that?"

"No not like that... I usually got a mask and a chainsaw with me."

Ha Ha!Ate a clown for breakfast?Rolling my eyes I passed him to go across the room to continue my inventory. I tried to concentrate on some artistic photographs as he was behind me again, reaching out his hand.

"Seth Cohen."

Shacking his hand quickly I turned around again.

"So... did you like it?"

And there I was, thinking Taylor was a pain in the ass. That guy was really annoying...

"Like what?" I don't even bothered to turn around.

"My painting you were looking at so intensely."

"I don't know. I'm not much of an art connoisseur. Now listen I have some work to do here so if you don't mind--"

"You don't have to be an art connoisseur to tell me if you like it!", he had cut me off.

I was about to answer when Taylor entered the room, it seemed like she cleared out her differences with Peggy.

"Summer! What are you doing back here? I need you help with the decorations. I know how good your with that!" She spotted Seth standing there.

"Ah! If it isn't our big artist! It seems like you already met. Summer this is Seth Cohen. We're really lucky he donated his work for this auction! And we can make a lot of money for the hospital with it. I'm thinking that we start with 10.000 $ at least! Thank you again so much, Mr. Cohen."

"Well, it's for charity and I'm getting publicity... there's nothing bad about that. It's Seth, by the way."

He didn't look away from me while saying that. For the first time I looked at him for real. He wasn't bad looking in hisown geeky way. A little bit skinny perhaps. But cute. Stop it! I had to bring myself down! I was married, after all. By instinct I glanced down on his hand. No ring. Apparently he was not.

That old hag of Taylor noticed our eye-locking, within' a second. With a faked smile she pulled me with her:

"Would you excuse us, Seth?"

A few feet away from him she stopped and threw me a concerned look: "Summer, you can't be serious! I can't believe you would do something like that to Zach!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I freed myself of her and walk back to Seth.

That had been good. I did almost convince myself.

On half way I turned to her again: "I fear you will have to do the decorations by yourself, Taylor. I have to do a lot of inventory back here! I guess that's going to take quite a while."

Taylor raced away with gritted teeth.

"She is some kind of an alien, right?" Seth and I looked after her.

"I wish. If she was, all I'd have to do to get rid of her is call the FBI." I answered.

He laughed. Oh my God! He had dimples... I felt my knees becoming weak.

"So... this really seems like a lot of work. If you want me to help..."

"Thank you, but I'm okay..."

Seth stood in the doorway, looking concerned in my direction. I tried to lift up a wooden fertility-goddess, which was a little bit taller I. Before it knocked me over and buried me under it he was there, holding it.

"Yeah, I can see that." Together we put the heavy thing down on the floor again. Our hands met slightly and I felt a bunch of lightings flashing through my body. I dismissed it as static charge and took a deep breathe.

He looked around: "So were should we start?"

I smiled uncertain: "I guess with the pseudo-Pollocks..."

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Honestly, I couldn't remember when I laughed like that the last time. Of course I had fun with Zach... but not like that. Seth had an amazing, charming, sarcastic character.

After bringing the last piece into its final position I leaned back against a shelve: "So tell me Seth. How comes it, that a guy like you remains up for grabs? Have you never thought about marriage."

"I did. But it turns out I'm not really the person for marriage."

I looked at him questioning.

"Divorce number two was granted four years ago. If I may quote a really smart TV-show: The second bitch is got everything the first bitch didn't."

"You watch _Sex and the city_?" I had got to say I was impressed.

"There's no better way if you try to understand women..."

"You just told me that your got divorced the second time when you were like twenty-six, it doesn't seem to me like you understand women that good."

"You have no idea...", he flirts. I felt a lot of blood rushing into my head. I tried to persuade that it was because of the not working ac in the storeroom.

I quickly turned away: "So... were are you staying?"

I mentally slapped myself for that question. He flirted with me and I asked him in what hotel he was staying? Broad hint par excellence.

"I live on a boat. Down in the harbor."

"Very _Miami Vice_..."

More flirting! Argh! I could've strangle myself with my own hands. What the hell was going on with me?

"Yeah... indeed... so Summer, seeing we're finished here... Can I call you sometimes?"

Taking a sharp breathe I looked down: "Don't misunderstand this, I think you are a really great guy, but I don't think that's a good idea. I'm married."

His disappointed facial expression nearly killed me. He took my hand in his and looked at my wedding ring. I never knew that a simple touch like that could turn me on that much.

"I can't believe, I didn't notice before... That's usually the first thing I check..."

Our eyes locked again. I wanted to kiss him so bad, that moment.

_Pardon the way that I stare.  
There's nothing else to compare.  
The sight of you leaves me weak.  
There are no words left to speak.  
But if you feel like I feel.  
Please let me know that it's real.  
You're just too good to be true.  
Can't take my eyes off you.  
_

"I'm sorry."

Almost panicked I pulled away from him practically storming out the stock to the ladies room. I leaned back against the locked door. My heart was racing in a way I'd never experienced before. I walked over to the sink and splashed some water into my face. Looking into the mirror again I noticed a sparkle in my eyes I've never seen before. Was all of this because of Seth Cohen? This couldn't be happening. I'd met the guy like five minutes ago. Was I falling in love?

TBC

Next Chapter: "We've got tonight"

AN: So what do you think? I'll update as soon as I get five reviews! ;)


	2. We've got tonight

**AN:**_ Wow you guys! I gotta say I'm so happy! Thank you so much for all your reviews! I didn't even think that I would get my five reviews! Let alone thirteen! That's why I couldn't update immediately after the fifth review. This chap just wasn't finished yet! I was all like "5 reviews... should give me two or three days time"._

_Anyway, I hope you'll like this chapter equally and keep reviewing! _

_Oh, and just in case: Sorry about my grammar and spelling. English is not my first language!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything! (Unfortunately :-( )_

**Chapter 2: We've got tonight**

I excused myself the next day, pretended to be sick and then I was walking down the pier, trying to clear my head. Sipping my coffee I watched some teens down at the beach preparing their annual bonfire. Kind of ironic, right? Those would light a fire tonight... - how anyone would need a fire at that heat was a mystery to me -, I on the other hand, was trying to put a blaze on the fire Seth Cohen caused inside of me... Oh God... What was I going to do?

"Hey!"

I jerked around. Speaking of the devil. Seth Cohen life-sized.

"You gotta quit that sneaking around!", I snapped at him angrily. If I was honest I was more angry with myself, for blushing the moment I saw him, then I was with him.

"Sorry, I'll try to walk it off. So tell me, what are these kids are doing down there?"

"Celebrating the annual bonfire of Harbor."

"That's the private school here, right?"

I nodded: "How do you know?"

"My mom grew up here. And my grandfather lives here. Caleb Nichol."

"What? Caleb Nichol? He owns like half, well actually he owns the whole town! You're his grandson and you live on a boat?"

"Who do you think paid for it? And beside... it's a really big boat. I just like to stay independent. You know... sailing the seven seas. Get to know the world...make new friends..."

"Women friends?" Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut? Now he was going to think I was jealous - which I was not - well not much...

"Well I haven't been married in quite a while... and I'm not a monk..."

An awkward silence followed.

"So..." "Here..." We both tried to start talking at the same time.

We shared a smile and then there was another awkward silence.

"You go first", I offered.

"Well I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I was totally out of place. It won't happen again."

"Apology accepted."

"Great, so ... I guess I see you tomorrow at the community center..."

He was already starting to walk away as I heard myself call his name, making him stop and turning around.

"Would you like to come to dinner to my house tonight? I mean... you'd be alone, my husband is out of town so ... I'd be alone... and I really would like to hear about your sailing of the seven seas..."

I was probably obsessed with some kind of demon, cos it was impossible that it was me, Summer Stevens, who just asked him to come for dinner that night.

_Please reject, you're trouble, oh God please reject. _Was all I could think that moment.

"I'd love to come!"

I know I shouldn't have been but I was actually glad he didn't reject.

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I was nervous like a teenage girl who was going to her first date. I've had already changed four times. The first outfit was to well behaved, the second was to saucy. With the third the colors didn't really match. Now I was standing in front of the mirror, wearing a knee-length red dress with a V-neck, it was sexy but not to sexy. Showed everything and nothing at the same time.

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. Maybe I shouldn't wear anything red., I thought. It was to much of a signal color.

Before I could go back into my closet picking out something new my mobile rang. Taking a look at it the caller-ID told me it was Zach.

I felt guilty within a second. Even if everything I had been doing for the last few hours was thinking about my husband it hadn't seem real. I considered to ignore it. I could've told him that I was out and left it at home. I hadn't even made a decision as it stopped again.

With a sigh of relief I went downstairs and checked if the lasange wasn't burned yet. While setting the table I kept thinking if I really should've placed candles on the table. Wouldn't it seemed to much like a date, with the whole candle light?

I put them back into the drawer just as it rang at the door. My heart was racing again. Good God, what did he do to me? The walk from the kitchen to the front door never seemed longer. I couldn't help myself. I just couldn't wait to see him again.

He was standing in the doorway with a single red rose in his hands. Smiling at me with his cute dimples. All I wanted to do that second was throw him down to the floor and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. But I pulled myself up with all strength I had left, accepted the rose and let him in.

"You're a little bit early...", I tried to start conversation. "The dinner isn't ready yet. Would you like a glass of wine in the meantime?"

He silently nodded, walking around in the kitchen.

"Those are your kids?" On the counter were pictures.

"Yeah. Lilly is six and Michael is four."

I saw that he was starting to fell uncomfortable so I quickly changed the subject: "Why don't we sit down? Dinner'll be ready in five."

He stopped me on my way to the table: "Summer."

I looked up to him almost drowning in those eyes. I never thought that I could enjoy it so much to hear somebody say my name.

"I had a long talk with Taylor after you left yesterday. Actually... she talked and I listened. She told me all about you and your family. I think I know more about your marriage then I knew about my own. And she told me how you are _the perfect _family of Newport Beach. So if you wanna back out, you better do it now. Cos I don't know if I'll be able to stop later."

In view of what a life changing decision this had been, I've made mine pretty quickly.

"I want this. I want you. More then I ever wanted anything before."

Saying these words made me realize how true they were.

And suddenly, I can't tell if I pulled him to me or he came onto me, but I didn't really care, we embraced each other and my lips were on his.

Without breaking the kiss I wiped the dishes off the table and sat down on it.

I could feel him hesitating for a second but then I opened my mouth and let his tongue in, it massaged mine.

No more questions - just the two of us.

We didn't really know each other or what we were about to do, but still there were a thousands of lightnings flashing through my body.

Every single touch of him drove me crazy. While kissing passionately my hands were reaching under his shirt pulling it over his head. Neither of us cared that the buttons were spread around the room, because I didn't unbutton it before.

Our making-out grew heavier. Desire for a physical closeness became lust, lust became unstoppable desire.

He slowly started to unzip my dress, letting it slide to the floor. My bra joined it. After a few tries I managed to get rid of his pants without stopping to kiss him.

The next moment both of us were naked, kissing and caressing each other.

Tenderly he started to pet my breasts. His thumbs were rubbing over my nipples. Making me moan, it was just dreamlike. When he reached down to kiss my chest and I chocked my head. I felt like I was exploding every minute.

The heat and his kisses seemed to make me dizzy. I'd probably pass out any moment.

When his lips were slowly working their way up my neck back to mine, I was already breathing heavily.

The dearly kiss that followed was almost a release. I could hear myself sighting silently. His hands and his mouth seemed to be everywhere at the same time.

His breath started to get heavier after I started to take care of him, in my way. He wasn't that passive himself I realized as his hand was sliding deeper stroking my most sensitive spot.

"Oh my God! Cohen!", I clawed my nails into his back.

His hands were moving slowly but in the right way. Shortly before I was about to fall of the edge, he pulled his hand away.

"Bastard!", I snapped between two kisses.

I was practically burning of desire. Eventually I laid back onto the table, pulling him with me.

"You got a rubber?"

He took a condom out of his wallet and pulled it over with a quick move. With a gentle, sensitive move he entered me in the end.

I felt like, I'd got scream his name out of excitement. All of that felt so good, so right. He, moving inside of me, thrusting slowly.

"Please!" I pleaded finally. I wanted him faster, harder, deeper, I wanted to feel him.

"Fck me!", saying that didn't even feel wrong that second.

_We've got tonight  
Who needs tomorrow?  
Let's make it last  
Let's find a way  
Turn out the light  
Come take my hand now  
We've got tonight  
Why don't you stay?  
Why don't you stay?_

I put my hand around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him on the mouth. I wanted to feel him completely.

We both let out a final moan before reaching our climax together.

For a few seconds we'd lost every sense for time and space. We just sat there, holding each other tight.

No doubts. No sorrow. Just the two of us, our body's entangled, still chained.

TBC

Next chap: "For all we know"

**AN: **What do you think about the sex scene? It was the first I ever wrote so please be kind!

I know it all happened kind of fast but if I can't stand one thing than it is getting-to-know- and falling-in-love-scenes that go on over five chapters or more. And Summer and Seth are supposed to have a great chemistry, so why wait?

So... just hit the button below and tell me what you think!

Love, Chris


	3. For All We Know

**AN:**_ To all my reviewers! Thank you so much! I love your reviews! Please keep them coming:D_

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything. The O.C. Belongs to Josh Schwartz and FOX and the lyrics to the carpenters._

**Chapter 3: For All We Know**

Hours and a lot of kisses later we were lying in bed together. Me on my stomach watching TV, the blanket was barley covering my butt.

Seth, totally exhausted, had fallen asleep a while ago.

I couldn't help but smile. He looked like a baby. Filled and happy. Even his snoring sounded exhausted. The last few hours had been stressful, I had to admit that.

Even if it was adultery, which was nothing I was proud of, I don't think there was a position we didn't do it in. And what I was even less proud of, was that I enjoyed it completely and didn't spend a second thinking about Zach. Then he somehow made his way back into my mind.

While being wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't notice Seth had woken up. With a fast move he was next to me starting to place small kisses on my neck and shoulders.

I sighed under the touch of his lips.

"I thought you were sleeping!"

"Not so tired anymore!", his lips found mine for a passionated kiss.

Yawning he laid down on his stomach next to me: "What cha watching?"

"City of Angels. Not really one of my favorite movies... but there's nothing better on right now..."

"Summer I have a question." I looked at him expecting.

"Isn't this kind of awkward? I mean we are in your marital bed... with your wedding picture up on the wall... You gotta admit that's kind of weird, on the other hand the rooms of your kids would have been way more weird. Not to mention your husbands office... although the kitchen table--"

I cut him off with a kiss: "You're rambling again..."

Without another word he kissed me back, while his hands tenderly were caressing my back all the way down to my bottom.

When I couldn't stand it anymore I turned on my back and pulled him into another kiss.

After that his lips were wandering down through the valley between my breasts. Between my legs he stopped, starting to caress the inside of my thighs.

I was winding in his arms.

"That's emotional torture...", I told him through gritted teeth.

A million lightings were flashing through my body. When he stopped I look at him in a mixture of anger and worry: "Who allowed you to stop?"

"No more rubbers!", he held up the empty box.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Well... you have some here, right? An emergency reserve?"

"What kind of emergency are you talking about? I've been married for almost ten years, Seth."

We laid back into the pillows, frustrated, staring to the ceiling.

"Maybe I'll find some downstairs...", I got up and put on my robe. I winked at him. "Don't run away, okay?"

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Thirty seven minutes of destroying the bathroom later, I reentered the bedroom, with a glorying smile on my lips and three condoms in my hands.

Seth still lay in the bed browsing through a sketch block. _My_ sketch block.

"What are you doing!" Angrily I wrested it from him.

"Did you draw these?"

"That's none of your business! Why were your looking through my stuff?"

"Did you even realize how long you were away?" He pointed at the block again. "So are you a designer or something?"

Biting my lip I sat down on the edge of the bed: "Fashion is my passion--"

"Look at you... a night with me and your rhyming, already."

I gave him a glare. "Sorry. Please finish."

"I majored fashion in college. I always wanted to be a designer but then... well I met Zach. I got pregnant and married. He didn't want me to work and let our kids be raised by a nanny... and... I guess it's alright the way it is..."

"Who are you trying to convince, Summer? Me or yourself."

I looked onto the floor.

"I put those dreams on ice a long time ago." I couldn't help my face got a little bit sad.

He put his hand on my waist pulled me closer, my head rested on his shoulder.

"Well you know what they say: The old dreams were good dreams. They didn't work out. But I'm glad I had them."

"Very poetic, Summer!"

"Well believe it or not but I'm more than just good looking."

"I knew that the moment I saw you."

I sunk in his teddy bear eyes. "God Cohen. What are you doing to me?"

"What _I_ am doing to _you_?"

"Yeah! Yeah! I was --- I am, happily married! But since you showed up... I just don't know what I want anymore... When I'm with you it's like I don't even know myself anymore. But at the same time I'm more myself then I've ever been before..."

_Love, look at the two of us  
Strangers in many ways  
Let's take a lifetime to say  
"I knew you well"  
For only time will tell us so  
And love may grow  
For all we know. _

I buried my face in his chest, tears started to form inside my eyes. When I tried to kiss him he backed out.

"How about we just sleep for now?"

I silently nodded and cuddled up against him. After a while I fell into a dreamless sleep.

TBC

**AN:**_ What do you think? Okay, maybe not the best chap. Kind of a filler if you want so. The next one will be longer, I promise!_

_Still, the button is below! You know how to use it! ;-)_

Next chap: "Something Stupid"


	4. Something Stupid

**AN: **_You're guys are so amazing! When I started writing this story I never thought, I'd get that much feedback! (Considering that I don't even master the English language or grammar perfectly!) _

_But, seriously: Thank you so much! I love your reviews! So please, please keep them coming!_

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything (I think we all know that by now!) The O.C. Belongs to Josh Schwartz and FOX and the song Something Stupid to – well actually I'm not so sure – Frank Sinatra or Robbie Williams? You decide! Anyway.. not to me! _

**Chapter 4: Something Stupid **

Waking up the next morning I found the other side of the bed empty. After a few seconds of being disorient I sat up, noticing the delicious smell of pancakes. Within a minute I was dressed and following the scent downstairs.

With my arms crossed I was watching him as he turned the pancakes without even using a spatula.

My hands stroked from his back along his waist till I embraced him completely. He turned around lifting me up to the kitchen island kissing me passionately.

"Well good morning to you, too." I smiled at him brightly after we parted out of a deficient of oxygen. "You seem to be in a very good mood..."

"Well, who wouldn't be if one wakes up next to a beautiful woman like you!"

I rolled my eyes and slipped of the counter: "Boot licker!"

He turned back to his pancakes. He threw them in the air and cached them again with the pan.

"Where did you learn to cook like that?" I snuggled myself against him.

"I worked in a cruise ship kitchen, before Grandpa bought me the boat. The head cook took me under his wings."

"You paint, you're a excellent lover and you can cook... admit it, you're not human..."

My hand squeezed his butt lightly, while I lay in his arms, he smiled at me.

"So your husband doesn't cook?"

I tensed up within a second and pulled away from him.

"You know how to ruin a moment Cohen, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, but am I supposed to pretend that you're not married?"

"For now, yeah!"

"And what is when he comes back? You will act like you don't know me?" He sounded pretty angry now.

"Seth...", I put my hand on his shoulders, my fingers played with his shirt collar. "I don't wanna think about tomorrow, or Zach, or my kids. Right now all I wanna do is be with you..."

"Pancakes are ready. I'm gonna take a shower." He freed himself of my hands and walked away, leaving me in the kitchen, my arms wrapped around myself.

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If he thought he could just let me stand there like that he was wrong. Entering the Bathroom I needed a moment to get used to the hot wet air. I pulled back the shower curtain. Facing Seth in his whole greatness.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanna talk to you!"

"Well, let's talk later, when I'm dressed and dry!"

"I wanna talk now and if I have to come in with you!"

He reached for my underarm and pulled me a bit closer to the shower: "May I take you by your word?"

"Don't even think about it!", I snapped, but one moment later it was to late. I was standing in the shower, fully dressed

"That's my newest sweater!", I complained. "You gonna pay for that!"

"What you waiting for!", he smiled and pulled me onto him.

My hands were tangled around his neck, so I had him even closer. While that, his hands were wandering up under my sweater stopped at the claps of my bra, tried to open it.

"I hate those things!", he swore into my mouth. Smiling I broke away from him, opened it with a simple action..

"It's all about practice!", I grinned and kissed my way up on his collarbone to his earlobe and all the way back. "Don't you think it's time to get me out of the top!"

Seth shifted his hands deeper under my shirt, hustling it over my head to the floor. My bra joined, just as the skirt and my panties.

He was kissing a path down between my breasts, making me sight silently. I leaned my back against the cold tiles, moaning when he started to kissing my most sensitive spots.

When I couldn't take the excitement anymore I dragged his face up to mine kissing him. Our tongues battled.

With a swing he lifted me up pressed me against the cold wall. I couldn't help but clutch my nails into his back when he entered me. I loved this so much.

Slowly he started to move inside of me. Doing his circles, and shoving from time to time. His hand reached down to stroke my clit.

With a last, hard, almost violent thrust we got off at the same time. I lay my head onto his shoulder, enjoyed his nearness, for then.

Seth stopped the water, letting me down and wrapped a towel around the both of us. Going on kissing we plodded back to the bedroom, laid onto the bed.

"Seth?"

"Huh!"

"Wow!"

Seth smiled and teared the blanket over the both us.

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One hour later we still didn't make it out of bed. Seth sat backwards into the pillows, I was on my belly, rested my head on his lap.

"How old where you when you got married?" I asked without looking away from the TV-screen.

"Which time?", he laughed, running his fingers through my hair up and down.

I stayed silent and waited for him to answer.

"Anna, my first wife, was my girlfriend in high school. We were very similar. My friends said she was the female me. In our second year in College we decided to get married out of a jolly mood in Vegas. Today I think I just did it to piss of my parents but back then ... we just seemed like the perfect couple. Everybody said so. For a short time even we thought so... but the truth was... we had no chemistry at all... We decided for divorce when I met Caren..."

"Wife number two?", I ventured a guess.

"Exactly. She was the complete opposite of Anna and myself... Unlike anybody I met before... We fell in love head over heels. We got married, dropped out of college and lived for the moment. I think that was the best time of my life..."

"What happened?" I turned around on my back to look him in the eye.

"She is the kind of women who drank to be in a good mood... and with me sailing the seven seas... I didn't see her for almost three years before we filled for divorce... She lives in some kind of commune in Greece now, well, that's the last I heard from her..."

"I got married when I was twenty." I did realize that he didn't ask for the story of my marriage but after he bared his soul to me, I felt like I had to do the same. "I think Zach dated me out of some kind of rebel against his parents, in the beginning, too. I was so not the thing they imagined for their only son. I guess they wanted some kind of a Jackie, and well, I guess I'm more the Marilyn type..."

He looked at me confused for a second: "But you are--"

"I'm blond on the inside." I explained before I carried on. "His mom even tried to set him up, with some chick of the old-money society, when we were already engaged... we were almost broken up when I discovered I was pregnant. After that he of course _had to_ marry me. I mean, a future-president with a illegitimate child? That would've been simply unacceptable.. more unacceptable then a bimbo as wife."

"Wedding caused by a pregnancy test... Not the best odds..."

"I don't regret any of the decisions I made. After all I wouldn't be the woman I am, without them." I tried to smile, but failed pitiful.

"Please, tell me you did not just quote Pacey Witter..." **AN: I don't know the actual quote. I couldn't find my DC DVD collection – and by couldn't find I mean it was out of reach and I was to lazy to get it! lol**

Now I laughed: "He's a very smart character!"

His thumb tenderly stroked my cheek before he leaned in for a soft kiss.

"God, Summer... I love you so much, it almost hurts."

_The time is right,_

_your perfume fills my head,  
the stars get red,  
and oh, the night's so blue.  
And then I go and spoil it all,  
by saying something stupid  
like: "I love you."_

"We only know each for three days, Seth..."

"Stop denying the undeniable." He kissed me again, this time even more tender.

When our lips parted, I opened my eyes again and met his gaze.

"I love you too, Seth."

TBC

**AN: **_So what do you think? To cheesy? Cute? Sucks? Please tell me, honestly! I know they, again, did almost spend the whole chapter in bed... what can I say? I just love my Sexter! lol_

Next Chapter: "Through your eyes"


	5. Through Your Eyes

**AN:**_ First of all: Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I love them! Please, please keep them coming!_

_Second of all: Sorry for the long wait. But I moved this weekend and at my new place I don't got Internet access, so I had to go to my parents house ... and let me tell you: Carrying around a computer? Not as fun at it sounds! lol! Why I didn't use a CD or disk? Because the computer I'm writing this stuff on is basically fucked up! Lol_

_Okay... to cut a long story short: Here's the next chapter! I hope you'll enjoy it!_

**Disclaimer: **_ I don't own anything! Nope! Nothing mine! _

**Chapter 5: Through your eyes**

"Dinner will be ready in five!" Seth called through the open door. I decided to go for a swim in the pool, enjoying the last shafts of sunlight. I didn't get much of that that day. We'd spend the whole day in bed - again.

I climbed out of the pool and reached for a towel to dry myself.

"What'd you say? We could sail to Catalina, tomorrow." He suggested.

"Just the two of us?" I ran the towel through my wet hair.

"I wasn't planning on inviting anybody else... but if you have a nice female friend..."

I hit him playful on the butt with the wet towel. I was just leaning in to kiss him as the phone rings. Both of us froze.

"You should answer that." Seth let go of my waist after five more rings.

I took the cordless phone: "Hello?"

I actually noticed my voice cracking a little bit.

"Hey honey!" _Oh my god, it's Zach!_, was the only thing I could think that moment.

"Hey Zach!" I squeezed Seth's hand with my own. "How are you? The kids?"

"Oh, all of us are fine."

"Good. Are they sleeping already?"

"No. In fact they're right next to me. Wait a sec I put Lilly on."

Before I could even say no, my daughter was already talking to me: "Hey Mommy!"

"Hey Lilly!" Seth's face reflected pure guilt, and mine probably, too. Our hands entangled even tighter. "How are you?"

"I'm good. But I had a really bad dream last night! I dreamed that I woke up at night and was all alone! Nobody was there. Not you. Not Daddy. Not even Mike. And I cried for you, but you wouldn't hear me."

"It's okay honey. It was just a bad dream. Mama would never leave you."

"You promise?"

"Yeah. I promise."

"Pinky swear?"

I smiled: "Pinky swear!"

"Daddy wants to talk to you! Bye mommy!"

"Bye Sweetie."

"Hey Sum! I almost forgot: We will be back Sunday morning already. My parents have some business in Europe, to do."

"Really? That's great!" I had never been really good at lying but that had been the worst performance ever.

Although Zach didn't seem to realize it. He just kept telling me about how much fun he and the kids had, when his sister came to visit, which I couldn't really imagine considering what bitch that woman was.

"So, I'll see you Sunday, I guess?"

"Yeah... shall I pick you up at the airport?"

"No, we'll take a cab. Enjoy your time off. Listen I gotta go! I love you, Honey. Bye!"

"Bye!", I only answered before hanging up.

On my inner eye I could basically see the confused look on Zach's face. I love you too, only three days ago saying these words would have been the most normal thing in the world. But with Seth next to me I just couldn't. It would've felt like I'd cheated on him, too.

"So, what did he say?"

"They'll be back on Sunday."

"And what happens with us once they're back?", he reached for my other hand playing with it.

I broke away from him, with slight anger in my voice: "You're asking me?"

"Well, considering you're the one who is married and not willing to leave: Yes! I'm asking you!" _Great, now he's pissed_, I thought. "You could just give me a damn answer, instead of trying to make me decide everything!"

"A answer to what?"

"You gotta choose Summer! What do you want?"

"If you think I'll just leave my family because of you, you have a much bigger ego then I thought!"

"I never asked you, too!... And I never would!"

"Then what do you want from me?" I yelled at him desperately.

"All I want is you. You telling me that this isn't just some affair... all I want is a god damn sign of you that you love me just the way I love you... that this isn't something you pull every time your husband isn't here... "

"Of course it isn't...", I buried my face behind my hands for a moment. "I told you before. I love you!"

"Then why are you like that? Why are you acting like none of this is your business. Act like a lover, a wife or a mother whenever you feel like it... Act like you don't need me!"

"I need you so much, you fucking idiot!" I felt the tears burning in my eyes and got all my strength and arrogance together so they wouldn't fall.

"Then why don't you show me?", he was just as upset as I was.

"I don't wanna need you...", I explained.

"Why?"

"Because, I can't have you!"

He embraced me protective: "Oh Summer... "

"I love you", I tiptoed and kiss him tenderly. "Don't you ever forget that."

"I love you, too. And I won't." He kissed me back and pulled me closer. "How does dinner sound?"

"Sounds great...", I smiled and looked down on me. "Let me just get my robe."

"Why robe?" He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in a glowing kiss.

After recovering my breathe, I took a look down on him and smiled at him seductively: "Don't you think it's unfair if only I'm in my bikini?"

"Okay, Summer I love you, but there's just no way I will put on a bikini."

"Shut up Cohen..." My hands wandered under his open shirt and shoved it over his shoulders. When I started to kiss his chest fondly he backed out and held my wrists: "Do you want the soufflé to be burned again?"

"You're thinking about the soufflé right now?", with furrowed brows I looked at him. "Something really _is_ wrong with you..."

"I just got my priorities in order. There are kids starving in the third world as talk!"

"You know what, weirdo?", he got a kiss on the cheek. "You set up the table... And I get myself dressed..."

As I went upstairs he threw a disappointed glance after me.

It took me a while to choose what to wear, as usual, but when I was almost finished and just about to get down again I heard a female scream downstairs.

Not bothering I was just wearing a bra and jeans I ran downstairs. Arrived in the kitchen I found Marissa looking first at Seth, than at me in confusion.

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"You slut!" Marissa laughed after I dragged her into the pool house with me. "I can't believe you're just cheating on Zach like that!"

"You are a fine one to talk!", I sat down on the couch.

"When did this happen?", Marissa took a seat next to me, ignoring my comment.

"Tuesday..."

"And how comes I don't know him? When did you meet him?"

"Monday." I smirked, a little bit embarrassed.

"You know him for four days now and he's walking around in your house just like that?"

"This is not like you and your pool boys... I never felt connected like that to anyone..."

"Not even Zach?", she went into it.

"No. I love Zach, really... it's just... I mean, I don't remember the last time that my husband made love to me so passionately that he transported me to Africa, for Christs sakes! And frankly...I don't think he ever has!"

"So you're saying it's all about the sex?"

"No!" I let myself fall back frustrated. "I know it sounds weird because I just met him and stuff but I really do love him!"

"And does he feel the same way?"

I could feel my face getting a dreamy expression: "Yes he does... It's really weird, you know... with Zach it took me over a year till I could tell him I love him... "

"You are not gonna leave Zach, are you? ..."

I shook my head: "The kids are barely out of diapers... How could I do something like that to them... What am I going to do Marissa?"

"Do what Jim Carrey said: 'Enjoy it'"

"If I only I could erase Seth from my memory..."

"Oh girl... what am I gonna do about you?" Marissa put an arm on my shoulder an pulled me close.

"Got a little drink?"

Marissa silently nodded and pulled a flask out of her purse. After I'd took a sip I had to pull myself up to not spit it out again.

"What is that?" I asked coughing.

"Vodka", she took a sip herself, shrugging.

"How can you drink that pure?"

She shrugged again: "You get used to it."

I got up and started to rearrange the pillows on the couch to distract myself: "Was there any particular reason why you came over tonight."

"No and yeah... Luke brought one of his bimbos home. I had to get the kids and myself out of the house."

"Where are they now?" I walked over too the bed and smooth the covers. My mother used to call that occupational therapy.

"I carried them to there friends house. For a sleepover. I didn't want them to see him like that ... or me..." She drank another time out of her flask. I took it out of her hand but instead of drinking too, I poured all into the sink.

"What is your problem?", she looked at me angrily.

"You want to give Luke another reason for shipping you off to rehab again?"

She silently looked down to the floor and played with the cord of her purse.

"He won't send me to rehab again..."

"Are you filling for divorce?" I stopped in the middle of my cleaning-up-action and looked at her. There was something in her voice I definitely didn't like.

"No ... we don't have a prenuptial... the alimenty would kill him..."

"Marissa what's going on?" I sat down next to her.

"He told me that he's just waiting for me to take my next OD... he wants me to drink myself to death..." She cried now.

"Oh sweetie!" I embraced her tightly.

Even if I felt really sorry for her, I was amazed how she managed to make everything about herself again. As always. I told her about my worry s and fears and somehow she was the one who ended up crying.

"Listen Marissa I really should go back to Seth..."

She wiped away some tears and straightened up: "Could I maybe spend the night here? In the pool house? I promise I won't disturb you guys."

I softly nodded: "Of course. You know the ropes... make yourself at home."

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A few hours later Seth and I had made ourself comfortable in bed again. We both laid on our side looking at each other. Kind of like Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in _Pretty Woman_.

"I think I almost like these after sex talks more then the sex itself..." He gave me a glare. "Well, just almost!"

"I know what you mean. Even with Anna, who was just like me ... apart from she was very confident and strong ... I've never experienced something like this before."

"Zach is... actually he is emotional and stuff, but ... somehow I never felt comfortable talking to him like that..."

"And you do with me?"

I rolled myself over so we were spooning: "Yes I do."

"I'm flattered, I really am but why? Why don't you talk to him?"

"I have trust issues..."

"How comes?" he was spreading kisses all over my neck.

I leaned back and closed my eyes: "My mom left when I was thirteen. When my dad told me she was gone for good, I didn't come out of my room for three days, then something clicked and I didn't let anybody come to close to me after that..."

"Until now?"

_Whoever I am now  
It feels like enough  
And I see a girl  
Who is learning to trust  
That's who I see through your eyes_

I nodded and kissed him intensely: "Until you."

"So do you wanna sail to Catalina, tomorrow?"

"I'd loved to."

TBC

**AN:**_ So what do you think? Comments? Suggestions? Requests? Don't mince words!_

_Love ya all! _

_Christina_

Next chap: "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"


	6. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

**A/N: **_Okay, okay I know that took a while! But to my defense: I've got a huge anatomy-test coming up in like three days. Terrible stuff I tell you! The amount of subject matter is actually a case for amnesty international! lol_

_But every minute I'm not learning or working I write, so give me some credit for that, will ya?_

_To cut a long story short: Chapter 6! Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything! The O.C. Belong to Josh Schwartz and Fox and the song to Elton John!_

**Chapter 6: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word**

"Summer!" I turned on my belly trying to go on sleeping.

"Summer!" I put a pillow over my head.

"Summer!" Someone poked me into my side.

Slowly I opened one eye and looked at the clock radio next to my bed. It was half past four in the morning. What the fuck?

"Summer! Wake up!" Seth tried to pull away my blanket, which I held onto tightly. "Suuuummeeeer!"

"You suck!" I mumbled, my head still in the pillows. "Go dying!"

The mattress sank as he laid down next to me. In the bona fide, that he left me alone,finally, I relaxed and closed my eyes again. But then he started to remove the blanket of my back to kiss his way down along my spine. I felt a shiver going over my whole body.

"It's 4:30 in the morning... why don't you sleep like normal people?", I murmured, although I sighed under the touch of his lips.

"We have to leave soon if we wanna make it in time." His hand rested on my butt while he kissed my shoulders.

"In time for what?" I asked.

"An awesome sunrise out on the ocean."

"Sunrise my ass! I need my beauty sleep!"

"But Suuummeeer...!" He sounded like a little boy.

"Give it up, Cohen!"

"Summer."

"No."

"Summer!"

"Fuck you!"

"Summer... it's our last day together..."

_Guilt... argh! Of course! He's Jewish._

Slowly and sighting I raised myself and crawled out of the bed. I threw Seth a death glare. He smiled at me pleased.

"You suck!" I told him before exiting to the bathroom.

"Love you too!", he yelled after me.

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One hour later I sat on a blanket on the deck of a sailing yacht. I wore nothing but a transparent wrap beach dress and a tiny bikini panty.

Seth sat down next to me and handed me my cocktail. He was also wearing nothing but boxers.

"So you gotta admit... this was totally worth the getting up so early wasn't it?"

I took a look around over the orange colored heaven and ocean. As much as I hated to admit it - he was right.

"Yeah... it's amazing", I looked over to him, he was about to say something. "If you say 'I told you so' , you're going for a swim!"

"Like you could throw me other the rail..."

"You wanna take your chances?", I lifted one eyebrow.

He rolled himself on top of me, kissing me passionated: "No I'm fine..."

"Good boy!", I mumbled into his mouth while our making out grew heavier.

"Did you think of condoms?" I asked him when he started to nibble on my neck and tried to untie my dress.

"Again: Why can't you take the pill?"

"Do you remember anything we talked about during the last two days?"

He scratched his head.

"How I get hair loss if I take it?"

His face got a little bit confused while his index finger traced over my arm: "I was a little distracted... maybe we shouldn't have talked when you were naked..."

He glanced down my body and stopped at a certain spot - or better two certain spots.

"Stop staring at my boobs, Cohen!"

"If you don't want me to stare then why are you wearing a transparent dress?"

I screwed my mouth.

Touché.

I didn't answer, instead I snuggled up against his chest enjoyed the sight over the ocean: "So you got anything else planned for today or are we gonna spend another day in bed?"

"Wait a second, Summer... are you saying you have no witty response for me?"

My elbow met his ribs in a, for him at least, very sore way: "Response enough?"

With a nod he rubbed over the hurt area: "Definitive... So I know we talked about sailing to Catalina but I thought we'd meet to many people there so...: Did you ever hear of the Pink Moment?"

"Oh my God!", I sat up straight, earning another confused glance.

"What did I say?", he sat up next to me.

"We totally forgot about Coop! And I left the door to the house bar open! This won't be pretty!"

"She's quite the boozer isn't she?", he was kissing my shoulder.

"Yeah... it began sometime in High school when everyone started drinking, just that she didn't stop..."

"Well we can check up on her when we get the car later."

I nodded my head: "Yeah. That would be great. So tell me more about this Pink Moment..."

"Well it's a natural spectacle, up in Ojai. During the sunset, for a moment, everything glows pink. I thought I take you there... I know it's kind of cheesy, but--"

I cut him off by kissing him: "It sounds amazing. But the sun just risen... what are we going in the meantime?"

"You mean apart from spending three hours in the car until we get there?"

"Yes."

"Well... you tell me...", he grin got bigger.

Kissing, we sank back onto the blanket...

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"You know... you have a great profile."

"Thank you?", I was leaned up on my elbow on the blanket, across from Seth who was brooding over a drawing.

"That was a compliment, right?"

He laughed brightly: "Yes, it was."

"What are you doing anyway?", I try to look into his sketch block.

"I try to draw you! So don't move!"

"You're drawing me? Really?", My smile got even bigger. "Can I have it when you're finished?"

"I was actually thinking about keeping it... you know... to remember... but if you... I mean...", he handed me the paper. "Here. You can have it."

I shook my head: "Finished already! Wow. You're good! Listen if you wanna--"

"I won't need some stupid drawing to remember you!", he smiled. "Besides... I can paint a thousands of that just by heart."

"You're so sweet", I crawl in his direction and put a peck on his lips.

A whole punch of kisses later I lay in his arm and take a look at the drawing again.

"You know... I kind of look like Kate Winslet in Titanic... apart from the necklace of course."

"You're right. And we're on a ship/boat... should we worry!", I noticed how he smelled my hair and couldn't help but smile.

"You like Coconut?", I asked, while burying my head at his neck so he couldn't see me giggle.

I can't tell how much I loved the tangled look on his face every time I tried to tease him and he didn't get it.

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Some time later both of us sat in a rental car and driving our way along the coast of California. The warm breeze blew through my hair. I felt like I was somewhere in the middle of an old Hollywood movie.

Putting on my Gucci sun glasses I glanced over to Seth who was behind the steering wheel. Over the gear stick our hands were entangled while we shared a smile.

If I only could've stopped time then. This was all I ever imagined. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the head rest.

"I love you." Although it was barley I whisper I know he had heard it.

"I love you, too."

Our hands parted only to entwine tighter.

"I really had fun today. Just the two of us out on the ocean." I told him smiling. "Just in case I forget to tell you later."

"I really enjoyed it, too."

"Glad to here...", my head rested against his shoulder.

"It might be me.. but tomorrow hangs over our heads like the sword of Damocles, doesn't it?"

"Kind of yeah. As hard as I try I just can't seem to get it out of my head that we can't see each other anymore, tomorrow."

"You know ... I wouldn't have to leave, right away. I could stick around for a little while. We could meet. Still see each other."

"And wait till somebody sees us? Taylor gave me a lecture about adultery the moment she saw us together... should I just wait for Zach to find out and take the kids away from me?"

"Of course not. ", he shoved his sunglasses down and looked at me intensely. "It's just that I never met somebody like you before. I never loved somebody like I love you before."

"Well, we've managed to live without each other our whole life, didn't we?", I tried to joke.

"That was before I knew how it is to live with you. We shouldn't have to give that up now."

I stayed silent and looked onto the floor of the car. Studying the look of the foot mat. He pushed the glasses back to its place and focus on the road again.

"If only we met each other sooner, like in high school", I smiled sadly.

"You know, my parents once thought about moving to Newport, I was about five, when my Granny got sick. But somehow it didn't work out..."

"What happened?"

"Granny died. There was no need for us after that."

"Imagine if you guys really would've lived here. Maybe we would be married now! What are the odds?"

"Oh... you so wouldn't have talked to me in high school!", he laughed and rubbed my knee.

"Why? What were you like when you were in high school?"

"Pretty much of a geek. I liked-- actually I like comic books, video games---", he looked into my face. "You'll never sleep with me again, will you?"

I only smiled, not really getting into his comment: "Do you have any siblings?"

"I've got a adopted brother, Ryan. My father is a PD and he once brought him home... it's kind of a long story."

"We still have an two hour drive ahead of us. Tell me."

"I'm sorry Sum, but I don't know if I can do that", his voice got kind of weird.

"Do what? I'm sorry. Did I touch a sore spot? Don't you wanna talk about it?", I looked at him worried.

"No, I do... but, I don't think I can put a whole lifetime between now and tomorrow."

"Oh... so we're back at that subject, again..."

Purposeless my voice got all bitchy again. Why couldn't he just let go? We were spending a wonderful day. We were able to act like every other couple cos nobody knew us here.

"I'm sorry, but... this what we have... it's so... it just shouldn't have to end, that's all", he tried to take my hand in his again but I pulled away.

"No. It has to end. As much as I like doing this with you... it just isn't right!"

I crossed my arms in the pitiful try, to let him touch me as less as possible. Which was stupid, because I didn't need to be in physical touch to feel close to him.

"How do you know that this isn't right? Maybe your marriage isn't the right thing."

"You don't know a shit about my marriage!", I told him angrily.

"I know that it can't be so great if you slept with me after knowing me for not even two days." The look on his face told me that he regretted that sentences the second he finished it, but I ignored that fact and decided to just be pissed.

"Turn the car, right now!", I said having a hard time to hold back tears of rage and hurt.

"Summer. Listen..."

"I said: Turn. The. Car! I wanna go home right now!" I said without looking at him. The last part wasn't true. I didn't want to go home. Cos going home would mean that all of this would end now. It would be like waking up.

And it meant I would have to face Zach soon. And I didn't want to do that. Every time I would look at Zach I would just compare him to Seth. And that would me remind me how much would miss him.

_It's sad, so sad_

_It's a sad, sad situation_

_And it's getting more and more absurd_

_It's sad, so sad_

_Why can't we talk it over_

_Oh it seems to me_

_That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

But even though I couldn't forgive Seth for direct the way I fell in love with him against me.

"Summer."

He tried to to get a response from me, but this time I didn't even look at him. Stubborn I watched the landscape outside.

"Fine. Whatever." With those words he made a turn and drove back to Newport.

TBC

**A/N: **_So what do you think? Kind of angsty at the end? _

_Well, prepare for some real angst in the next chapter. Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned it yet, but this story will only have 2-3 more chapter. But, I'm already planning two other story's. You could also say I want to make it an trilogy. But don't you think that "trilogy", just sounds so melodramatic? _

_So please review! I'll do my best to keep the updates coming as fast as possible!_

_Love ya all!_

_Christina_

**Next chap:**

"_What'll I do?"_


	7. What'll I Do

**A/N: **_Unbelievable! After trying to update for the last six days it finally worked out today! So I won't waste any time on to long authors notes... Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **_Still don't own anything. The O.C. belongs to Josh Schwartz and FOX and "What'll I do" to Frank Sinatra._

**Chapter 7: What'll I do**

The sun had already sat when we arrived at my house. Irresolutely both of us sat there. In my driveway, looking straightforward.

"You know..." it was the first thing he said since we turned. "... we may be to late for Ojai, but--"

"Don't even think about suggesting sex now!", I said while getting out of the car and slamming the door.

"Summer!", his voice was suddenly intense enough to stop me. I just stood there like frozen, not even turning around.

"I don't want it to end like this. I only gonna say this once. I never said it before. To no one. And I won't say it again."

I knew that he waited for me to turn around but I just kept standing there. Looking through the windows of the door into my perfect McMansion.

"Summer, this kind of certainty comes just once in a lifetime."

After he had said that I almost hated him. It would have been so easy for me to walk away when I was angry at him. But he _had to_ say something that perfect.

What was maybe a second felt like hours. While my brain told me to go inside, because it was the right thing to do, and wait for my husband, my heart wanted me to run straight towards him, leave with him and never look back.

I have no idea how long I stood there. Maybe it was only seconds, maybe it was minutes.

"Summer?"

Swallowing my tears down my fingers clutched the doorknob. I thought about turning around to say goodbye. Because it didn't matter if we were fighting or not. Fighting... bullshit. I was just being stubborn, hoping that it would make everything easier. But tomorrow Zach and my kids would be back and then we would be over.

And considering that I decided to not turn around. It would've made everything harder. For both of us. So I walked inside. As soon as the door was closed behind me I sank to the floor and broke into passion of tears. I hated myself for not being brave enough to start over with him. I hated Seth because he messed up my _perfect_ life.

While I sat there hugging my legs and weeping bitterly I heard the car being started outside. I looked at the dark mascara stains on my white pants and couldn't help but wonder what the hell I was doing here at all? That guy was the love of my life and he was leaving.

With that thought I jumped up and opened the door. I called out his name. But all I saw were his back lights disappearing in the dark.

Tears where streaming down my face, while I went back into the house. I lied down on the couch, on which Seth and I had loved each other not even 24 hours ago. Looking around I realized, that every damn thing in that house made me think of him.

Why I didn't follow him? Honestly, I have no idea. It was just that after he had left, courage had left me. I had been rethinking everything for the thousandth time. To stay was the right thing.

Even if I had no idea how I was going to survive without him. How I was supposed to stand it, sitting here in my big mansion, wondering where he was, if he was ruining some others wifes and mothers life's by having sex with her on the kitchen table.

Things would be so much easier if Holly wouldn't have sent me to do inventory that day... So clearly. All of it was Holly's fault. But thinking back, I didn't regret one second being with him. And that was all that was important, right? How could something be wrong that you would do over and over again?

Sometime around that I must've fallen asleep.

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A familiar voice woke me up.

"I thought I had enough pride to leave after you told me so... turns out I don't have much of a spine..."

"Seth!"

I ran to him and flung my arms around his neck.

"I am so sorry! I'm such a moron!" I didn't care anymore about showing strength. I drenched his shirt collar with my tears.

"No! I'm the moron! And you were right. I shouldn't have insulted your marriage like that when I don't know anything about it."

"Oh Seth... I think you know more about me and what I want then my husband ever will."

"Summer,--"

I hushed him by putting my index finger on his lips: "I wanna come with you. Wherever you're going, whatever you wanna do next... I'll do it with you."

"You're serious?", he got an facial that said "Awesome!" and "Worried!" at the same time. "I mean, okay you can leave Zach, but what about your kids?"

"We're gonna work that out! If the last ten minutes made me realize something than I can't and I don't wanna be without you!"

"Me neither!", he responded as we sat down on the couch. He kissed my forehead and pulled me close again. "I love you!"

"I love _you_!", I cuddled onto his shoulder and took his hand in mine. "So... where to you wanna live? Wanna get an apartment? Or are we gonna live on your boat like Pacey and Joey did?"

He smiled: "I think at all events we should get an apartment! Maybe even a house. We'll need one, when your kids will live with us... and every summer we'll sail around..."

"That sounds great!", I said. "But what are we gonna live on? Love and a trust fund?"

"I'd be okay with that!", he kissed me tenderly. "But you could also open up the boutique you wanted! And I'd present my pictures there."

"And maybe we can get a pet..."

"I like that idea! How about a dog?"

"Maybe a chiuhaha?"

"I thought we wanted a dog! Not a rat with long legs!"

I tried to hit him but he held my hand and kissed the palm instead: "When I get to live with you, I'd even get a purse so I can carry a chiuhaha around with me."

I woke up and looked around groggy. What had happened? Where was Seth? Then I realized it. All of that had been a dream. We hadn't made up. He was still gone. And I was still lying here, by myself. I would've loved that dream being reality. I wished I had the courage to tell him "Yes! I'll love you and I'll come with you!". But the truth was that I was just a freaking coward!

And it was not just that. I wasn't some freaky teenager anymore, who could just decide to run away, whenever I felt like it. I had gone into a commitment. Not just by marrying, but also by having kids. I'd hated my mother for leaving me and my dad. And Lilly was basically a mini-me. How was she supposed to react differently?

Another wave of self pity was rolling over me. I was the looser in all of this. Seth would go on. He'd forget about me. He'd find someone else to spend the rest of his life with. While I was stuck with Zach. The kids would grow up and leave. Life their own life. Whoever said that kids always had to stand above the own interest was wrong. Kids would give a shit about the sacrifices you made for them. One day I would sit alone in my big mansion and keep wondering "What if?"

That was when I spotted my purse on the floor next to the front door. The drawing Seth made for me had fallen out. I got up, wiped away some tears and took it into my hands. My first intention was to rip it into pieces and burn it. But then I saw scribbling on the edge of the sheet.

I recognized the words within seconds. It was the verse of Frank Sinatra's "What'll I Do". I made – under his protest of course – Seth listen to a lot of Sinatra during the last days. He stated that he hated it. But apparently he didn't after all.

_What'llI do  
When you are far away  
And I am blue  
What'll I do?_

What'll I do?  
When I am wond'ring who  
Is kissing you  
What'll I do?

What'll I do with just a photograph  
To tell my troubles to?

When I'm alone  
With only dreams of you  
That won't come true  
What'll I do?

Reading those words, made me see how much they stated this whole situation. And I also saw that I wouldn't have to worry, that this was just some fling for him. He loved me just as much as I loved him. And still, it wasn't enough.

**A/N: **_Okay, pretty short I know. But after only one side I had the feeling that I repeated everything over and over again. And about the dream... well, I had written it in a alternative way in the first place. But then I realized that it wouldn't really match with my plans for the whole story. So I deleted it again. (Do you have any idea how painful it is to deleted two pages of – in my opinion – good written stuff? Sigh!) And then I decided that I wanted some of it in the story, without ruining my plans, so I let her dream some of it! Lol (Did that make sense at all?)_

_I don't know if I even mentioned it yet, but in my head, when I'm writing about Summers house I always see the Cohen house. After all Caleb build it, and the Cohens never used it, so I figured some other family had to live in it. And now Summers. _

_And before I forget about it: I know I usually only use one verse of a song, but this song really inspired me, and heard it a lot during writing, so I figured it deserved some more credit than the other songs_

_Okay I'm gonna stop now, before the authors note gets longer than the chap itself. Please review guys! It means so much to me and your reviews are really inspiring! _

_Love ya all! _

_Christina_


	8. It's Only Make Believe

_Thank you for all the reviews! I love them! I wouldn't have gotten that far without them! Please keep them coming._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. _

**Chapter 8: It's Only Make Believe**

_That can't be me_.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at the woman looking back at me. Almost ten hours of crying and no sleep didn't vanish without exact its toll. My hair wasn't shiny and smooth like it usually was. It was brittle and gave my face an unusual hard shape. The make up, that had been perfect a few hours ago, was now spread all over my face. It almost made me look like a clown. Too bad I hated clowns.

I knew exactly why I decided, years ago, not to cry anymore. Cuz every time I did my eyes were all swollen and red and it make me look like one of the vampires from Buffy.

Sighting I grabbed a scrunchy and turned my hair into a messy bun. Yesterday around that time I had been still happy with Seth. We had been lying on his boat. Kissing, touching, joking, laughing. A look at my watch told me that I had not even two hours left till Zach and the kids would arrive.

"I need a drink!", I muttered to myself and shuffled, still in a pair of tracksuit pants and Seth's shirt, downstairs. Arrived in the house bar I met the reason why I shouldn't drink out of worries and problems.

"Oh my! Marissa!", I stormed to my friend who had fallen asleep on the floor, in a pool of slopped whiskey.

"Hey Sum!", she held onto me and I helped her getting up. "You look terrible..."

"Oh thank you! I can return that compliment to you!"

"You haven't been drinking and crying for the last day, have you?"

I shook my head and lead her to the pool house: "No, not drinking... although I wanted to start now."

"I don't recommend it!", she told and held her head dramatically.

"So you and Seth broke up?"

"It would have required that we're dating for us to break up", I told her, and let go of her hand so she could lay in the bed.

"But--"

"No but!", I cut her off harshly. "I'll file Seth Cohen as a wonderful experience that just wasn't meant to be."

She gave me a glare.

"What? I'm fine with that! Really!"

"I can totally see that!", she responded cynically. "You wearing his shirt, you look like you cried all night and you wanted to drink at nine o'clock in the morning. Clearly you feel great!"

"I'll go now and clean up inside." I told her coldly. I refused to sit here and be judged by Vodka-Woman.

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"Mommy!"

I jerked and out of reflex, put the painting of myself into the drawer of my desk. Turning around I found my smiling daughter standing in front of me.

"Hey Lilly!", I embraced her tightly, swallowing my tears for the hundredth time today. "How are you? Where is your Daddy and Michael?"

"Hey Honey!"

There he was. My perfect loving husband with our son in his arms. I looked into Zach's face and it happened as I prefigured. I compared him to Seth and I wanted to lie down and cry again.

"Zach! Hey!", I put on my loving wifey face and with Lilly at my hand I walked over to him to hug him. Out of an old habit he leaned over and wanted to kiss me. Quickly I turned away so he only got my cheek. Something that had seem so normal only a few days ago seemed like the worst thing now.

"Everything okay?", he asked, sounding concerned and put an arm around my waste, pulling me close.

"Of course!", I showed him the brightest fake smile, freed myself out of his arms and took Michael out of his arms. "Hi Baby! It's so good have you back!"

"We were with granny and grams!", he told me in a the cheery naive way that only kids had.

I took Lilly's hand in mine and lead her and Michael to the kitchen without giving Zach a chance to ask any other questions.

"How about a sundae of ice cream? I bet you've got a lot you wanna tell me about!", the two smiling and nodding faces told me that I suggested the right thing.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

It had become night and the kids were asleep. Even though the temperature had dropped about 30 degrees in the last two hours it was still sticky everywhere.

Zach already lay in bed, wearing nothing but boxer shorts, I still stood in the bathroom and put on all kind of lotions. I was trying to avoid going to bed as long as possible. My guilty feeling hadn't disappeared like I hoped. And my thoughts about Seth had become more instead of going away. How was I supposed to sleep together with my husband inside of this bed?

"So Marissa will stay here for a few days?", Zach asked

"She had fight with Luke again. Maybe she'll divorce that asshole this time!"

"You say that every time she moves in our pool house. But in the end she always goes back to him."

"And you think that's the right thing do to?", I spread the lotion over my hands. Massaging it in.

"Well, they have two kids who just entered preschool. You think it's healthy for them to grow up in a destroyed family?"

"Healthier than growing up in a family of fight, tears and unhappiness", I closed the bathroom door and sat down on my side of the bed, rummaging around in my nightstand.

"It's a good thing we don't have to worry about stuff like that!"

When Zach slipped over to me and started kissing my shoulder I tensed up. He didn't notice. His hands slid around my waste and started to caress my chest.

"Zach...", I carefully shoved away his hands when he was trying to work his way underneath my nighty.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm just tired and not really in the mood, that's all", I looked onto the floor and was kind of amazed by the lying skills I had developed.

"Are you sure everything is okay? You've been acting differently since we arrived."

"I've got headache that's killing me! So just back off, alright?"

I was terribly pissed that moment. I even hated Zach a little bit. Although I had no reason and no idea why. In all of this he was the most innocent person.

He lifted his hand in defense: "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Good night."

With those words he turned around and laid down to sleep.

I just sat there with tears in my eyes. Was this the way my marriage was going to be from now on? My life?

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Good morning my beautiful darling!", Zach entered the bedroom with a tray and a great looking breakfast on it in his hands and a rose between his lips.

My mood from last night was still the same. I swung my legs out of the bed.

"I'm going to take a shower!"

"Why are you like that? I haven't done anything but trying to be nice to you, since I came back! And all you do is pushing me away!"

I stopped in the middle of the room.

"What? Pushing you away? Because I didn't want to sleep with you last night?"

"Oh come on! You know this isn't about sex! And you know it! So just tell me, what the hell is wrong!

For a moment I thought about telling him everything. Telling him how I wasn't happy, how I hadn't been in quite a while. Telling him about Seth Cohen.

"How about you get the kids ready? I promised Taylor we would make an appearance at that auction, today."

"Since when do you care about any promises you made towards Taylor?"

"Since when do you miss out a chance to collect potential votes?", I returned venomously.

"Stop it! What happened to us, Summer? We barley fought in the past."

When I saw the desperate look on his face, I suddenly felt sorry. None of this had been his fault and still I treated him like he was the one that had cheated.

"I'm sorry Zach", my voice got a little bit softer and so did my mimic. "I'm just like totally keyed up. This heat is driving me crazy."

"Well, on the radio they said it thunderstorms tonight. Maybe we can talk when you're cooled down?"

I nodded slowly.

"Okay... I'll get the kids ready", he kissed my forehead and left the room.

When I was inside the shower and let the cold water run down my body, leaned back against the tiles, rethinking everything again.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

When we arrived at the community center I was back in my role of the perfect wife and mother of a successful politician. I wore my favorite Prada sundress and Zach looked great in his Armani suite. Lilly held my hand and looked around well-behaved, while Michael, tired out by the heat, had fallen asleep in his buggy. But the most dishonest thing about this picture of the perfect family was me and Zach holding hands.

In confidence, with my head in the air I stepped inside the room. I knew it was probably just imagination but I had the feeling that it got quieter in the room and everybody looked at us when we entered. As I spotted Seth standing at the other end of the room talking to some Newpsies my heart stopped for a second. I had been in the steady thought that he had left the other night. Before he had the chance to see me I had excused myself and flew into the ladies room.

When I sat there, on the floor of the stall leaned back against the door I couldn't help but laugh. This was exactly like the first time I'd met him. Just that this time it was even more angsty. The first time nor Zach, Lilly or Michael had been here.

"Are you planning to hide in there all day?"

"Taylor...", I got up straightened my dress and stepped out, facing my her. "Are you stalking me now?"

"He's planning to leave tonight, you know...", she set her champagne glass next to the sink down.

"What are you talking about?" I decided to play dumb. Of course I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

Touche.

"Taylor... I don't have time for this! If you got something to say, say it now!", I was getting annoyed. It was obvious that she knew something about Seth.

She thrusted her glass into my hand: "Here. I think you have more need for that, than I do."

True thing. I sighted and downed the drink with one gulp.

"Summer, I just want you to know... I know what you're going through. If you ever want to talk..."

The glare I gave her must have been deadly evil cuz she added a quick: "Not ready yet. Alrighty!" and left. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighted. Boy, I had sighted a lot during those last five days.

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"Hey there you are Honey! I just wanted to start looking for you", Zach pulled me close and kissed my cheek. "Everything okay?"

I nodded with a forced smile: "It's just that damn headache. I think the weather is going to change."

"Well that would be a great relieve", Marissa popped into our conversation. "We could all need a little bit of a cool down, right Summer?"

"Why do I still introduce you to other people as my best friend?", I muttered under my breath.

"What are you whispering?", she looked at me innocent.

Sometimes I asked myself what kind of damage all of that booze had already done to her brain. In one moment she could be the biggest bitch and in the next she was my best friend again. I had to watch out, so she wouldn't tell Zach about Seth in one of her drunkenness.

"Hello! Earth to Summer!", she waved her hand around in front of my face until I shrieked out of my thoughts.

"Huh? What were you saying?"

She shook her head and smiled affectively: "_You_ for sure need a cool down!"

"I think she's right Summer, you look a little bit pale."

"I'm fine! Maybe it's because I didn't eat anything today. Yeah... probably hypoglycemia..."

"Well I'm gonna go and get you something to eat and to drink. Lilly wanna come with me?"

"It's to hot to walk!", she sighted dramatically and leaned back in the couch.

"Aw... to bad. I think then I'll gonna eat that ice cream myself", he winked and turned around to walk away when she jumped up.

"Wait!", she grabbed his hand and together they walked towards the buffet.

"Don't you want a ice cream, too?", I asked Michael who sat on my lap.

Sighting he rested his head against my chest: "I know exactly that daddy won't forget about me. I think he also would've gotten Lilly one if she stayed. But sometimes she's just stupid."

"My little smart ass!", smiling I kissed his head.

"Hey."

"I thought you wanted to walk off that sneaking thing", I smiled at him softly.

I was worried about talking to him all day but when he stood there suddenly, it was like all the pressure was of. There was a clear line between us. And that line was my son who was sitting on my lap.

"Is it okay if I...", he gestured around and pointed at the couch I was sitting on.

I nodded: "Of course. Sit."

Awkwardly he sat next to me: "Listen Summer..."

"Who are you?", Michael suddenly asked. I thought he had fallen asleep.

"I'm Seth. And you must be Michael."

Michael reached out his small hand. "Yes. How do you know?"

"Your Mom told me."

"Hey Mike! Why don't you go over and see if Daddy and Lilly need help with the ice cream."

"But I wanna stay with you!", he slung his hands around my neck.

"But if you don't watch out Lilly will eat up your ice!"

"Okay I'll go. I'll keep her from eating up yours, too!"

"Thanks, sweetie!", I stroked his hair and watched after him smiling.

"He's really cute."

"Yeah, he is. A little smart ass though."

"Are you happy?", he looked into my eyes intensely.

_My hope, my dreams come true  
My life I'd give for you  
My heart, the wedding ring  
My all, my everything  
My heart I can't control  
You rule my very soul  
My only prayer will be  
Someday you'll care for me  
But it's only make believe_

"Please don't ask me that, Seth."

We both sat there in silence for a moment. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Was I gonna break down into tears or kiss him passionately.

"Hey Honey! I brought you an ice cream too. I hope that's all right!", Zach broke our intimate silence.

"Yeah that's all right! Thanks!", I took the sundae from his hands and put it down on the table in front of me.

After a little trouble we had about the kids sundaes we all that there, Seth between us.

"I'm sorry, I think we haven't met", Zach turned to Seth.

"Oh yeah. Zach that is Seth Cohen he's an upstreaming artist who donated one of his works for today. Seth that is my husband Zach."

Both nodded at each other and shook hands in front of me.

"Hey Seth. Why don't you sit with us during the auction? My wife and I would be delighted!"

_Your wife sure would be!_, I thought.

Seth gave me an stealthy side glance and agreed then: "Sure. I mean it's either you or sitting with Taylor Townsend..."

Zach and Seth laughed in union, somehow the corner of my mouth also made their way up for a faked smile. That was going to be the hell of an auction...

TBC

**A/N: **_So what do you think? Wishes? Comments? Questions? I actually planned this as the last chapter, but somehow I just wrote and wrote... and I thought why let you guys wait any longer._

_So a lot of you were wondering what would happen when Zach would be back... tell me what you think about the way I wrote it!_

_Next chap soon!_

_Love, Chris_


	9. Eternity

**A/N: **_Okay, here we go. Last chapter. This time for real. But I wrote an Epilogue, so don't forget to read that, too! _

_Anyway, I really wanna thank all of you, for the amazing reviews! Thanks that you sticked with me through that whole story and I really hope for your support with the next one, too!_

_Love ya all! _

_Chris_

_PS. Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **_The O.C. Belongs to Josh Schwartz and Fox and "Eternity" to Robbie Williams._

**Chapter 9: Eternity**

I felt sick. I knew that I would manage to backstab myself. I wasn't even so worried about Zach. Guys don't have the best grasp anyway. But somehow Marissa decided to sit with us too. She already had made a few pointed remarks before. And I had seen her at the bar before. Which was never a good sign. Once again she was so frustrated and self involved with her own crappy marriage, she seemed to wish that mine was the same way.

A few seconds after we had sat down and gulp our first few cocktails, Marissa turned to me with a grimace that should probably be a a smile: "So Summer, are you thinking about buying one of Seth's pieces today?"

_And there we go..._

"Well, Marissa. Actually there is only one", Seth saved me when I was still thinking about a response.

"Oh what a shame! Well then you'll probably have to be really obstinate to get it. But that shouldn't be a problem! Right Summer?"

With my elbow I kicked her purse of the table. Innocently I looked around: "Oh my! I'm so inept today! Let me help you Marissa!"

Not even waiting for an answer I crawled under the table and pulled her with me. When we kneeled under the table I looked at her sharply.

"You're gonna go to the bar, now! I don't care how much you drink! But as long as we sit here I don't want you to come back! If you don't do so, you're gonna wish you OD'd last night!"

My voice must have sounded really sharp, cuz she did as I told her without one word of back chat.

I straightened my skirt, sat back in my chair and smiled at my two man. At least one problem solved! Two more to go.

My heart felt heavy when I only looked at Seth and his warm, comforting eyes. And it got even worse when I saw the faithful dumb way Zach smiled at me. There I was. Two good looking men in front of me. The voice of the auctioneer got me out of my selfpitty back into reality.

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the 23rd annual Charity auction for the children's hospital."

Applause.

Why had everybody to be in such a disgustingly good mood? Everyone here looked like straight out of a yogurt commercial. I felt like I was sitting on needles. After going through the whole "going once, going twice, sold!" project about ten times I decided that it was time to have a serious talk with Seth.

Why I waited so long, you ask? Well, I think I forgot to mention that with every auction process I gulped about one glass of Chardonnay.

One look was enough to make sure Seth would follow me. While I was sitting I hadn't even realized how much I really drank. Carefully, so I wouldn't stumble, I walked between the tables.

I waited for about five minute the hallway before I saw Seth rising from his seat. I didn't even give him the chance to say something. I grabbed Seth's hand and pulled him along with me. In a silent corner, away from the others we stopped on a dime.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?", my voice sounded pretty slurry.

"Huh?"

"Making friends with my husband... joking around with my kids... are you trying to make this harder on purpose?"

"It was him who invited me to sit with you! What should I have done? Answer 'no', I'd rather sit with Taylor."

"Yes! We agreed on making the split up as simple as possible..." It took all my strength but I refused to cry in front of him. Alcohol usually made me pretty emotional.

"We never agreed on anything, Summer! You agreed. I never wanted this to end!"

_Me neither!_ The words were in my mouth. But I just stood there in silence.

"Seth", my voice got all forceful. "We can't do all of that over and over again. We have to set a clear line, now."

"So that's what you want?"

"Yes", I wasn't surprised myself on how shaky my voice was.

He took a few steps towards me, so I was trapped between him and the wall: "I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me."

"I don't love you!", although my look was steady, I knew that he didn't buy it for a second.

"Liar!"

He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me angry. The bare touch of his lips made me forget all my good reasons.

I sighted. _Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! _Even though I first tried to push him away but after a while I just let him grant. Just one more kiss... and than I would tell him to leave. Almost two days I had been without him and that had been two damn days to long.

His skillfully hands worked down their way on my back and stopped at my butt. With that he pulled me even closer. He pushed up my skirt and reached under it.

"Stop it!", I told him. He gave me a hurt and confused glance until I told him what to stop. "The foreplay."

To prove my point I unbuckled his belt and shoved down his pants a little bit. Without breaking our kiss he grabbed me on my hip and lifted me up. My legs tangled around his hip. Then he shoved his manhood into me. I was overwhelmed by the heat, the closeness and his touch. The danger that we might could get caught did its thing, too. I kissed and touched his face all over. The next time we should be separated I wanted to remember every single bit of it. I never wanted to forget it again.

Circling he started to move inside of me. I felt the tension building up inside of me and started to move even faster. When I felt my climax building up inside of me, suddenly he started to move slower too. Wanting, I shoved my pelvis closer to him, so I would feel him even deeper inside of me. We kissed passionated before my muscles started to tense around him. My breathe stopped for a second. Then we fell of the edge together.

"I lov--", he put his hand on my mouth.

"Sh!", he stopped me from asking any questions and set me to the floor again.

Then I discovered what he meant. Someone had just entered the storeroom. Seth and I hid behind a big old velvet curtain.

"Summer!"

Fuck. Zach.

I looked into Seth's eyes and he just nodded. Telling me without words that I should go.

Straighting my dress I stepped towards my husband. Away from the man I loved.

"Hey Honey!", my face started to hurt of that fake smile I had walked around with all day.

"What are you doing back here?", he asked looking skeptic.

"Oh... Taylor dragged me back here. She said she needed help with something... but she disappeared quite a while ago... I think she found a way to handle the problem by herself! Come on let's go back inside. I want to buy something for our living room!"

For a second Zach looked around in the room. And for that second I thought he knew. But then he turned around and followed me back to our table.

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After the auction the whole crowd had wind down itself. Little groups sat spread everywhere on the round white tables. The former white table clothe was now stained with red wine, chocolate ice and half eaten strawberry's. I actually had managed to buy Seth's painting. At 20 000 $ it was mine. When I had heard its new name I just couldn't resist. "Once in a lifetime". I was convinced that he did all of that just to torture me.

And it worked. I felt lousy. Although that could have also been the starting hangover.

Zach had left with Michael and Lilly a while ago. When the two had fallen asleep on my lap, we had decided that it was time for them to go to bed. I stayed under the pretext to help with the cleaning up stuff. Of course I waited for Seth. After our date in the store room, I hadn't seen him anymore.

When I still hadn't found him after an hour of searching I decided to ask the only person who really had perspective around here.

"Hey Taylor. Have you seen Seth?"

"Well yeah. But that was like three hours ago."

"Where is he now?"

"What do you mean, where is he? He left. I wonder how he'll be able to sail at all at that weather."

"So he left for good?"

She nodded.

Without another word towards her, I ran. I had to keep him from leaving. For good this time.

By now it had started raining outside. But rain really played it down. It was the ultimate cloudburst. Within seconds I was drenched to my skin. But I didn't care. While running I somehow managed to get rid of my heels. Kicked my 300$ Manolo's just on the floated sidewalk.

My lungs burned from running. My heart raced. The rain ran down my long hair. I didn't care if somebody saw the always perfect Summer Stevens like that. I didn't even care, that the white drenched dress showed everything. The only thing I cared about was Zach.

When I reached the jetty I only found an empty embarkation point, where his sailing yacht had been. I thought that he had to hate me really hard if he sailed away in a weather like this.

"You fucking asshole!", I yelled out on the ocean. "How can you just leave like that!"

Hot tears streamed down my anyway wet face: "Come back! Don't run away like a freaking coward!"

I knew that he was probably in Catalina already. But I was sure I would die if I didn't yell out my feelings.

For a moment, when I stood there in the rain, the thought crossed my mind that he actually didn't want me. That it was easy to walk away. Only until his words made its way back into my mind.

_You were there for summer dreaming  
and you gave me what I need  
and I hope you'll find your freedom  
for eternity, for eternity_

"This kind of certainty comes with onces in a lifetime."

And I also thought of the words I should've said the night we wanted to go to Ojai.

"I love you and I'll leave with you."

But I had missed out that opportunity. And now he really was gone. Indefinitely.

I sat down on the wet wood and buried my face on my knees. No idea how long I sat there. Maybe not even a minute... maybe a half an hour. I looked up again when I felt somebody standing behind me.

Seth! That was what my first thought was.

But I only looked into Taylors, suddenly all warm and comforting eyes. She held a umbrella over the both of us. She lifted me up and put a blanket over my shoulders.

"Come on. I'll bring you home."

The End

_just until the Epilogue! lol_


	10. Epilogue

**A/N: **_Here's the Epilogue._

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Epilogue:

When I got home, Zach had already put the kids to bed. I was thankful for the silence that night. And also that Zach didn't make any passes on me. We just sat in our bed and watched the late night news as we did every night.

My memory of the following time is pretty bleary. I was just glad that the kids gave me some distraction of my self pity. Whenever Taylor, who turned out to be quite a nice person, and Marissa tried to talk to me about it I just blocked. I'd banned every thought about Seth Cohen out of my mind.

It wasn't until three weeks later.

I stood in my kitchen and stirred in a pan with rice and vegetables. It had rained for almost a week now and I was thankful that the heat was back. The rain made me even more depressed then I already had been.

"Mommy look what I made for you!", Michael held up a sheet of paper with all kinds of different scrawniness on it.

"That's lovely, Baby! I think I'm gonna hang it up on the fridge, so everybody can see it."

"Why are you always praise him that much?", Lilly asked me, looking jealous. "His painting is like so ugly! I wouldn't anybody want to see it."

"Lilly, watch you're tounge!", I would never admit it. But I loved it, when I could bring up the "Mom-voice". Made me feel way more grown up. I know one was supposed to feel grown up at 26, but sometimes I still felt like sixteen.

"I know I'm right!", she muttered under her breathe and concentrated on her Barbie's beach house again.

She was so much like me it was scary sometimes.

"Hey Sum! I'm gonna take of to the office now", Zach kissed me on the cheek I offered him and was about to leave but then he turned around again. "Before I forget it. You've got mail!"

My glance stopped at the envelope on the counter he'd pointed to. The script looked awfully familiar. I felt my heart stopping for a few seconds.

But then the shock was replaced by anger. Unbelievable. We had those four amazing days and all I got was a letter? Written on the crappy stationery of some motel.

I teared it open. The content was exactly what I thought it would be and not at the same time. He told me how he was sorry that he left without really saying goodbye. But somehow he couldn't handle seeing me with my family and he always would've felt guilty about it. Also that I was right with what I said about Zach. He was a good guy and he really didn't deserve something like that.

He went on about how those days with me changed his life. Whatever he did he was thinking about me. The idea of his sketch block being full of paintings of me made me smile. He promised not to write again and of swore his eternal love to me.

Smiling I walked into the living room where his painting hung up at the wall. The letter still in my hands I looked at it.

Then I smiled another time and covered my stomach with my hand.

Seth might've been gone. But that didn't mean the story was over.

The End

**A/N:**_ Okay... I know all of you hate me now. They split up and I ended this story with a major cliffhanger. BUT, so you're calmed, I already started the next story. And as soon as I finished the first chapter I'll post it right away! _


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